And You're Gonna Need a Crew as Nuts as You Are: Wisdom of Reuben Tishkoff

Ocean's 11. One of my all time faves. For those of you who have not yet seen it, we need to talk. Like, Intervention-style talk. To be fair, I have not even seen Top Gun, which my husband has a real problem with. Now that I have gone my whole life without it, I refuse to watch Top Gun based on principle.

I digress...

Ocean's 11. *Spoiler Alert 18 years later* Starts with a man with an idea. Hello, Daniel Ocean. A passion to steal obscene amounts of money from only a few Las Vegas casinos. Convinces a crew of 10 others (see where the 11 comes in? Clever.) to join him in this heist. Something so out of reach, so unimaginable, yet, Ocean is able to identify strengths within others in which he convinces them to use these strengths to actually put a plan into place and *Aged Spoiler Alert* actually pull it off.

Perhaps, one of the very best lines of the whole movie (and by best, I mean inspires me as a leader) comes from Reuben Tishkoff when Ocean pitches this idea to him. Tishkoff: "Yea. Ya gotta be nuts, too. And you're gonna need a crew as nuts as you are. (pause). So, who've you got in mind?"

YES, man the remaindered furniture (see film), YES! As leaders, we come up with these crazy ideas...how we can make our schools, organizations, companies better - innovative! More than half of the ideas are terrible ideas. But, every once in awhile, we get an idea and are able to rally a crew as nuts as we are to pull off something unimaginable.

Last winter, I was Danny Ocean. Not the thief who had been paroled from prison, but more like having an insane desire to do something huge and truly awesome for my kids and community.

Houses. A House System at my site. It started with an article about Houses at Lake Canyon Elementary in Galt. See article HERE. I knew, based on survey data from my 5th and 6th graders, that we had some work to do as a school in building meaningful relationships and including student voice in decisions made on campus. With that rolling around in my head, when I came across this article, I knew I'd have to pitch this random idea to a few people to make sure it wasn't another one of my crazy ideas that wasn't feasible. Fortunately, I've got a great crew at my site who will keep me in check when I have these crazy ideas that are not feasible! And thankfully they still stick around.

My first litmus test...send an email out. "What do you think? Thoughts? Ideas? Feedback? Any interested in talking about this more?" OMG! I had an email back within 15 minutes. And then a few more. None of them shot it down. Ok. We had some traction in thinking about it. Natural next step?

Road Trip!

With a crew of 5, we headed down to Lake Canyon to meet with their incredible principal, Judi Hayes and her crew of teachers leading this work. We talked to kids and spend hours learning about their House System and how they pulled it off. We were inspired. Ok. We had a small crew, but as anyone leading a school, company or organization knows, 6 out of 45 people does not count as "buy in."

My Crew.

After presenting the ideas to our staff, our crew grew to 10 people wanting to be on the planning team! There was so much excitement around Houses with 95% of our staff on board, with one - ONE - as a maybe! Holy! YES!!! We were in.

I mean, giving-up-time-over-the-week-off-in-February-to-meet-at-someone's-house-all-day-IN! We built a 45 Hour Learning Team to plan out the names of Houses, how we would roll it out, share it with staff, what it would look like week to week. All the things! This took 6 months of meeting once or twice a month to pull it off.

Fast forward to today where we have 400 kids and 45 staff members in 6 Houses, Houses are meeting weekly to learn and practice soft skills, earning House points, celebrating House successes and going on Trimester field trips to celebrate. We've had teachers step up to facilitate House Student Leadership meetings twice monthly on their own time! We have parents coming on campus more, sporting their kids' House colors!

Arguably the best House at Northridge.

I don't yet have any hard data from a survey to show that our kids feel more connected or that we have included their voice more, but the feeling is there. I can share that our attendance rate (so far) is a bit above average AND that suspensions are already significantly down by 81% this year (woot!)

As a House Planning Team, we are always seeking input on what we could do better, how we can improve to meet our staff and students' needs. A Crew within a Crew. How do we fold PBIS into Houses? How can we tie Attendance incentives to Houses? How can we still have School Spirit without only cheering for our House? How can we encourage sportsmanship so others don't get discouraged? Pssh...I have no idea right now.

We are truly building this plane as we fly it.

As the leader at my school site, it can be the most terrifying feeling not knowing how things will turn out or if they will even work at all. There are, though, no words to describe how thankful I am to be surrounded by a crew as nuts I am. We are in this together and making what seems like a huge undertaking - an actual experience for our kids, staff and community.

Northridge Houses

Bacon Western Cheeseburger.

Yesterday in the cafeteria during lunch, one of my staff members approached me with a giddy smile on his face and could not wait to tell me what had just happened.

He explained to me that as he was leaving campus to pick up lunch, one of our older kids asked him where he was going. When he told the boy he was going to Carl's Jr. (not a sponsor of this post, sadly), the boy responded, "Can you get me a Bacon Western Cheeseburger?" And knowing my staff member can be a bit of a sass, he responded, "Yea, right. In your dreams."

My staff member continues, telling me that as he was ordering at Carl's Jr., he thought, why not? and ordered a Bacon Western Cheeseburger for this kid, delivering it back to him in the lunchroom without much of an explanation.

As he's telling me the story, the smile on his face is getting bigger and bigger. I then also see this kid walk through the cafeteria with a HUGE smile on his face, trailed by 5 of his friends, loudly asking questions and laughing.

The thing about this story is this. This burger-receiving kid is not the easiest of kids we work with. But as most times we find, this kid also comes from quite a bit of trauma at home. He has had a front row seat to things like death and illnesses (both physical and mental) in his family over the course of the last few years.

We know that kids who experience trauma come to us with a myriad of issues that hinder them from being ready to learn. Sometimes, these issues present as kids being disrespectful, defiant and sometimes just being a pain.

As educators, we develop behavior charts, behavior contracts, incentive charts; we set goals, monitor and adjust goals, collect data, celebrate when kids earn their rewards and encourage them along the way. We celebrate wins and feel frustrations when the wins come so very slowly.

But then there are times when we just do things for kids. We buy them a cheeseburger because we care. We want to bring a highlight to the day with no strings attached. No incentive. No earned reward. Just a Bacon Western Cheeseburger.

These people (like this staff member) are my heroes. They inspire me to let go of control, contracts, reward systems, etc. and just do great things for kids. Just because.


It serves as a reminder to me that we serve kids. Even the kids with the biggest behavior challenges are just that. Kids. Little adults we are shaping and making impressions on.

And they sometimes deserve Bacon Western Cheeseburger. Just because.

Mr. Timberlake.

Full disclosure. This whole blog post is about Justin Timberlake. Either you.are.welcome OR feel free to close out this tab now.

Have I been a fan of Justin since he was part of *NSYNC? Yep.
Did I cry when I saw him in concert in 2000? Errmmm...uh-huh.
Did my husband surprise me with a trip to see him in Seattle during his 20/20 tour? Yup.
Am I insanely nerdy excited to see him at Golden 1 tonight? Totes.
Does he also inspire me as a school leader? Indeed. And how.

Whether watching his Oprah's Masterclass episode or watching him accept his Innovator Award, Justin has the mindset to try new things, accept failure and pick up and move on.

During Oprah's Master Class interview of Mr. Timberlake, he talks about being a beginner and what it takes to become a master at something. In this interview, he says, "To be a master at something, it takes a long time at a high level. And to do that is to always be a beginner. If I'm not learning from something that I'm doing, that means I've already done it before. Do something different. Even if it's within the same medium, to try new things...that makes more sense to me than doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. I like being a beginner. I like the moment where I can look at everyone and say, 'I have no idea how to do this. Let's figure it out.'...That inspires me. That motivates me."

Yes! This! Always learning. In a leadership position at my site, I feel like I am constantly learning. Whether it is a new issue with a parent or student I haven't heard/seen before, or maybe an initiative handed to me from my district. I am always a beginner. And there are times, I'll admit people, that internally, I am saying to myself, "I have no idea how to do this. Let's figure it out." And I thank my lucky stars that I am surrounded by staff who I can sometimes share this with - and they jump in with a spirit of YES! LET'S FIGURE IT OUT! I love how JTim says, "If I'm not learning from something I'm doing, that means I've already done it before." Amen.

That thirst to learn and grow. I share this with my man, Justin.

Ok, aside from crying when I saw him back in the day, I actually felt tingles and some tears well up when I watched Mr. Timberlake's speech at the 2015 iHeartRadio Awards as he accepted his Innovator Award. He talks about being called weird and different. How his mom taught him that being called weird was a good thing. During this speech, he also references President Theodore Roosevelt's "The Man in the Arena."

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Oh Justin, Justin, Justin...these words. All these words. I remember being a kid (and even through high school and college, and ok...even sometimes these days) being called weird and different. I was the kid who came back to school with a completed project that looked NOTHING like everyone else in class. Yowch. Thank you, Mr. Timberlake (and your precious mother), for reminding me that it is OK to be weird and different. Reminding me that sometimes that's what it takes to innovate.

And his reciting of "The Man in the Arena." Ok. Truth. It's printed out and framed in my office. As a school leader, I have come to realize and accept that having critics is part of the gig. It sucks and sometimes things can really sting. If I step back, though, and take a second to realize how vulnerable school leaders must be in this capacity, it reminds me that I am not alone and that it takes courage to step into a leadership role. This also helps me stop to think about other leaders within my district and how what they are experiencing should not be criticized by me who is not (yet) brave enough to step into the arena of district leadership.

So, yeah. I get that JTim is not the first pick of who might inspire a school leader, but he does inspire this one. Thank you for all the inspiration, Mr. Justin Timberlake. I will see you tonight. I will be the middle-aged mother of 3 with bags under my eyes (because...11 month old teething) tearing up when I see you.

Footprints in our Sand.

Part of working at a Title 1 school is understanding that there is a higher transient rate than that of our non-Title 1 neighboring schools. This often comes in the form of enrolling many new students at the beginning of the year and again after Winter Break.

New faces create a mix of excitement, anxiety, stress and curiosity in both teachers and students (and principals). Often, after scrambling to gather supplies, textbooks and a desk, our new friends settle in quickly, being dragged around the campus by an eager peer, thrilled to be the resident expert on the place.

The flip side of this is that we often have students leave us, some with a few weeks notice and some with no notice at all. There are students we have grown close to who break our hearts when they leave. There are some students that leave just as quickly as they came, without us having the opportunity to build a relationship with them. Then there are those complicated students, those who ask for love in the most unloving of ways. They come, they shake things up, they create stress, they force us to reflect and try new things, and as soon as we start making headway into building trust and a relationship, they are gone.

This recently happened to teachers and staff on our site and has left a hole that is almost tangible. We had two siblings join us a few weeks after the school year had started. The younger sibling started out her time hiding under desks, refusing to come out from under desks, not speaking to her teacher and refusing to do any work. Her older brother did not hide under desks, but instead argued and displayed physical aggression towards his peers daily. Our relationship was their mother was, at first, tense at best. As a staff, we had our work cut out for us.

As we helped this family adjust, there were many tears, emails, phone calls, meetings, discussions and strategies between our school staff. Through restorative circles, learning through play and placing low demands as a way to build relationships and celebrate success starting at their level, we were able to quickly get our younger student settled in. She began trusting her teacher, completing some work, and began building relationships with her peers.

Her older brother proved to be more of a challenge. We worked to have restorative conversations with this student and his peers as often as what seemed to be after every recess. He was sensitive and quick to anger, proving extremely untrusting of the adults on our site. He ran. A lot. We followed him around campus. Often. It seems as though we had a "strategy of the day" we would try with him, holding our breath and crossing our fingers, waiting to see what might "stick." There were teachers and staff everyone rooting for this guy, checking in on him and offering positive words of encouragement.

Right before Winter Break, we had a HUGE break through. One of my staff members who is passionate and so knowledgeable about shaping student behavior had our student on a behavior contract in which he set goals every day, reflected on his goals throughout the day and received a HUGE reward at end of every day. Finally...FINALLY...we had some traction going! He actually smiled - SMILED - at people - MULTIPLE PEOPLE!!!!

As far as the kids' mom, just before the Break, we were able to connect her with a resource to receive a food basket, gifts, and clothing for her and her kids as we went out for the 2 weeks. She actually thanked us for being so supportive and for providing these resources. Finally...we had made traction with mom, too! We were winning, and I mean #winning. It was a great feeling to go out to Break, knowing we had made some good progress with our kids and their mom.

And then we came back from Break. The kids weren't there the first day back. Weird, but understandable. Most principals kids have a hard time getting up that first day back. Then, a second day out. Finally, a third day. I couldn't take not knowing. I texted mom on my phone, asking if everything was OK. Nothing. Tick tock.

Finally...a response that I could not have predicted would sting my heart. Relocated. Moved in with family in the Bay Area. No warning, no planning, that was it. Gone. How can something we worked so hard on just vanish like that? It didn't make sense.



As I reflect on this, I can't help but think of the expression to the effect of "People come into our lives for a reason." I have to think this way, otherwise things just don't make sense. If this is the case, why did they come into our lives? When I look at it through different lenses, I can only see that there were reasons why: to teach other students acceptance and tolerance, to help my staff hone "restorative circle" practices, to build tighter bonds amongst my staff, to remind us to never give up on kids, to help me guide and coach my staff in implementing possible strategies, to support collaboration amongst staff, to remind us the value of building relationships with family, to remind us that things can change in an instant...

One day, could be tomorrow, in a month or next year, we will have another family join us who might need some extra work. They may stay for a month or two, or stay with us forever. No matter what our future as a site might bring, these two kids and their mom have left footprints in the sand of our hearts, memories and school site.

I am hopeful these footprints will remain long enough for us to remember and carry the lessons we learned when these two kids were once ours.

Quote Source: https://storage.pixteller.com/designs/designs-images/2014-11-27/img_43015809cf91593c1.jpg
Quote Source: https://cdn.lifehack.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/368aa42ff82817011a00c23c078ffc68.jpg
Footprint Source: https://mylittlereviewcorner.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/footprints-in-the-sand.jpg?w=300