Bacon Western Cheeseburger.

Yesterday in the cafeteria during lunch, one of my staff members approached me with a giddy smile on his face and could not wait to tell me what had just happened.

He explained to me that as he was leaving campus to pick up lunch, one of our older kids asked him where he was going. When he told the boy he was going to Carl's Jr. (not a sponsor of this post, sadly), the boy responded, "Can you get me a Bacon Western Cheeseburger?" And knowing my staff member can be a bit of a sass, he responded, "Yea, right. In your dreams."

My staff member continues, telling me that as he was ordering at Carl's Jr., he thought, why not? and ordered a Bacon Western Cheeseburger for this kid, delivering it back to him in the lunchroom without much of an explanation.

As he's telling me the story, the smile on his face is getting bigger and bigger. I then also see this kid walk through the cafeteria with a HUGE smile on his face, trailed by 5 of his friends, loudly asking questions and laughing.

The thing about this story is this. This burger-receiving kid is not the easiest of kids we work with. But as most times we find, this kid also comes from quite a bit of trauma at home. He has had a front row seat to things like death and illnesses (both physical and mental) in his family over the course of the last few years.

We know that kids who experience trauma come to us with a myriad of issues that hinder them from being ready to learn. Sometimes, these issues present as kids being disrespectful, defiant and sometimes just being a pain.

As educators, we develop behavior charts, behavior contracts, incentive charts; we set goals, monitor and adjust goals, collect data, celebrate when kids earn their rewards and encourage them along the way. We celebrate wins and feel frustrations when the wins come so very slowly.

But then there are times when we just do things for kids. We buy them a cheeseburger because we care. We want to bring a highlight to the day with no strings attached. No incentive. No earned reward. Just a Bacon Western Cheeseburger.

These people (like this staff member) are my heroes. They inspire me to let go of control, contracts, reward systems, etc. and just do great things for kids. Just because.


It serves as a reminder to me that we serve kids. Even the kids with the biggest behavior challenges are just that. Kids. Little adults we are shaping and making impressions on.

And they sometimes deserve Bacon Western Cheeseburger. Just because.

Mr. Timberlake.

Full disclosure. This whole blog post is about Justin Timberlake. Either you.are.welcome OR feel free to close out this tab now.

Have I been a fan of Justin since he was part of *NSYNC? Yep.
Did I cry when I saw him in concert in 2000? Errmmm...uh-huh.
Did my husband surprise me with a trip to see him in Seattle during his 20/20 tour? Yup.
Am I insanely nerdy excited to see him at Golden 1 tonight? Totes.
Does he also inspire me as a school leader? Indeed. And how.

Whether watching his Oprah's Masterclass episode or watching him accept his Innovator Award, Justin has the mindset to try new things, accept failure and pick up and move on.

During Oprah's Master Class interview of Mr. Timberlake, he talks about being a beginner and what it takes to become a master at something. In this interview, he says, "To be a master at something, it takes a long time at a high level. And to do that is to always be a beginner. If I'm not learning from something that I'm doing, that means I've already done it before. Do something different. Even if it's within the same medium, to try new things...that makes more sense to me than doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. I like being a beginner. I like the moment where I can look at everyone and say, 'I have no idea how to do this. Let's figure it out.'...That inspires me. That motivates me."

Yes! This! Always learning. In a leadership position at my site, I feel like I am constantly learning. Whether it is a new issue with a parent or student I haven't heard/seen before, or maybe an initiative handed to me from my district. I am always a beginner. And there are times, I'll admit people, that internally, I am saying to myself, "I have no idea how to do this. Let's figure it out." And I thank my lucky stars that I am surrounded by staff who I can sometimes share this with - and they jump in with a spirit of YES! LET'S FIGURE IT OUT! I love how JTim says, "If I'm not learning from something I'm doing, that means I've already done it before." Amen.

That thirst to learn and grow. I share this with my man, Justin.

Ok, aside from crying when I saw him back in the day, I actually felt tingles and some tears well up when I watched Mr. Timberlake's speech at the 2015 iHeartRadio Awards as he accepted his Innovator Award. He talks about being called weird and different. How his mom taught him that being called weird was a good thing. During this speech, he also references President Theodore Roosevelt's "The Man in the Arena."

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Oh Justin, Justin, Justin...these words. All these words. I remember being a kid (and even through high school and college, and ok...even sometimes these days) being called weird and different. I was the kid who came back to school with a completed project that looked NOTHING like everyone else in class. Yowch. Thank you, Mr. Timberlake (and your precious mother), for reminding me that it is OK to be weird and different. Reminding me that sometimes that's what it takes to innovate.

And his reciting of "The Man in the Arena." Ok. Truth. It's printed out and framed in my office. As a school leader, I have come to realize and accept that having critics is part of the gig. It sucks and sometimes things can really sting. If I step back, though, and take a second to realize how vulnerable school leaders must be in this capacity, it reminds me that I am not alone and that it takes courage to step into a leadership role. This also helps me stop to think about other leaders within my district and how what they are experiencing should not be criticized by me who is not (yet) brave enough to step into the arena of district leadership.

So, yeah. I get that JTim is not the first pick of who might inspire a school leader, but he does inspire this one. Thank you for all the inspiration, Mr. Justin Timberlake. I will see you tonight. I will be the middle-aged mother of 3 with bags under my eyes (because...11 month old teething) tearing up when I see you.

Footprints in our Sand.

Part of working at a Title 1 school is understanding that there is a higher transient rate than that of our non-Title 1 neighboring schools. This often comes in the form of enrolling many new students at the beginning of the year and again after Winter Break.

New faces create a mix of excitement, anxiety, stress and curiosity in both teachers and students (and principals). Often, after scrambling to gather supplies, textbooks and a desk, our new friends settle in quickly, being dragged around the campus by an eager peer, thrilled to be the resident expert on the place.

The flip side of this is that we often have students leave us, some with a few weeks notice and some with no notice at all. There are students we have grown close to who break our hearts when they leave. There are some students that leave just as quickly as they came, without us having the opportunity to build a relationship with them. Then there are those complicated students, those who ask for love in the most unloving of ways. They come, they shake things up, they create stress, they force us to reflect and try new things, and as soon as we start making headway into building trust and a relationship, they are gone.

This recently happened to teachers and staff on our site and has left a hole that is almost tangible. We had two siblings join us a few weeks after the school year had started. The younger sibling started out her time hiding under desks, refusing to come out from under desks, not speaking to her teacher and refusing to do any work. Her older brother did not hide under desks, but instead argued and displayed physical aggression towards his peers daily. Our relationship was their mother was, at first, tense at best. As a staff, we had our work cut out for us.

As we helped this family adjust, there were many tears, emails, phone calls, meetings, discussions and strategies between our school staff. Through restorative circles, learning through play and placing low demands as a way to build relationships and celebrate success starting at their level, we were able to quickly get our younger student settled in. She began trusting her teacher, completing some work, and began building relationships with her peers.

Her older brother proved to be more of a challenge. We worked to have restorative conversations with this student and his peers as often as what seemed to be after every recess. He was sensitive and quick to anger, proving extremely untrusting of the adults on our site. He ran. A lot. We followed him around campus. Often. It seems as though we had a "strategy of the day" we would try with him, holding our breath and crossing our fingers, waiting to see what might "stick." There were teachers and staff everyone rooting for this guy, checking in on him and offering positive words of encouragement.

Right before Winter Break, we had a HUGE break through. One of my staff members who is passionate and so knowledgeable about shaping student behavior had our student on a behavior contract in which he set goals every day, reflected on his goals throughout the day and received a HUGE reward at end of every day. Finally...FINALLY...we had some traction going! He actually smiled - SMILED - at people - MULTIPLE PEOPLE!!!!

As far as the kids' mom, just before the Break, we were able to connect her with a resource to receive a food basket, gifts, and clothing for her and her kids as we went out for the 2 weeks. She actually thanked us for being so supportive and for providing these resources. Finally...we had made traction with mom, too! We were winning, and I mean #winning. It was a great feeling to go out to Break, knowing we had made some good progress with our kids and their mom.

And then we came back from Break. The kids weren't there the first day back. Weird, but understandable. Most principals kids have a hard time getting up that first day back. Then, a second day out. Finally, a third day. I couldn't take not knowing. I texted mom on my phone, asking if everything was OK. Nothing. Tick tock.

Finally...a response that I could not have predicted would sting my heart. Relocated. Moved in with family in the Bay Area. No warning, no planning, that was it. Gone. How can something we worked so hard on just vanish like that? It didn't make sense.



As I reflect on this, I can't help but think of the expression to the effect of "People come into our lives for a reason." I have to think this way, otherwise things just don't make sense. If this is the case, why did they come into our lives? When I look at it through different lenses, I can only see that there were reasons why: to teach other students acceptance and tolerance, to help my staff hone "restorative circle" practices, to build tighter bonds amongst my staff, to remind us to never give up on kids, to help me guide and coach my staff in implementing possible strategies, to support collaboration amongst staff, to remind us the value of building relationships with family, to remind us that things can change in an instant...

One day, could be tomorrow, in a month or next year, we will have another family join us who might need some extra work. They may stay for a month or two, or stay with us forever. No matter what our future as a site might bring, these two kids and their mom have left footprints in the sand of our hearts, memories and school site.

I am hopeful these footprints will remain long enough for us to remember and carry the lessons we learned when these two kids were once ours.

Quote Source: https://storage.pixteller.com/designs/designs-images/2014-11-27/img_43015809cf91593c1.jpg
Quote Source: https://cdn.lifehack.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/368aa42ff82817011a00c23c078ffc68.jpg
Footprint Source: https://mylittlereviewcorner.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/footprints-in-the-sand.jpg?w=300

Techy.

Do you need help...
...Sharing Google docs?
...Creating a Google Form? 
...Creating a table in Word? (Word? Youch.)
...Embedding a logo in your email signature?
...Mirroring laptop during presentation?
...Connecting to WiFi?

"Ask Petra. She's super techy."

"Petra, since you're so techy, can you fix/load/delete/change this for me?"

I hear phrases like these pretty regularly. And when I do, I cringe. Silently. Inside. By no means are people trying to be sarcastic or rude; they genuinely consider me a resource in helping with tech-y things. When I hear the word "techy," I can't help but picture:

The tape on the glasses and suspenders. Seriously? How many people actually wear tape on their glasses like this? 

I digress...

Being "techy" isn't really a thing. Can I navigate my way through Google Apps? For the most part, yes. Do I know how to embed things? Of course! Can I connect to WiFi and mirror my laptop? Indeed. 

Skill set? Maybe. Degree? Hardly. Necessity? Absolutely.

See, the thing is, I know how to navigate through technology since it is such a HUGE part of my life AND my kids' lives. Example: Learning how to mirror my laptop has come out of necessity. And paying attention as a colleague mirrored my laptop, I paid attention since I knew I would need to do this again one day (without the guarantee someone around would know how to do this). 

So, yes, after 15 years in education, I know everything there is to know about technology. Ask me any--(record screech) --how to upload a new font into Google Docs? Uhhh...I'm going to need to do a Google search for that. True story.

In preparing for a little known event called, "The Price is Right," I wanted to create matching shirts for our group (collective awwwww...). I needed the "Price is Right" font. Lo and behold through a Google search, I found it was called "pricedown" and immediately downloaded it! Woot! This would be perfect for my shirts. Now...how to use this font in Google...that's right! Google search. And then. Then...

Oh.snap.

To clarify, this is maybe a...10? 12? year old showing me the ropes on YouTube.*

But that's just it, right? Not only does this, I'll call him 11 year old, know HOW to find new fonts in Google docs, but can create a Screencast for it!! 

And I'm supposed to be an instructional leader!? So, that's part of being "techy." It's about being RELEVANT. When a 3rd grader shares her Google Slides with me to collaborate, I know what she's talking about. 

When my 6th graders show me the new social media app of the week (and who can keep up with it these days), it's good to have a general concept of what they are talking about. Adding stickers to pictures? Ok. Yes. I know how to do this. What's that you say, 6th grader? An app that switches out your face with another student's face? Hm, ok. I don't know how to do that, but show me!

WhatsApp

Tencent QQ

WeChat

Instagram

Snapchat

Telegram

There is no.way I can ever catch up with the rate at which our kids can weave in and out of new technology. But like building background knowledge to cement new learning, I must have some baseline to even continue learning.

As lead learners (principals, VPs, instructional leaders, coaches, etc.), it's important for us to continually learn new things ourselves, not rely on others to fix, solve or troubleshoot things for us. 

Don't know how to...

...Share Google docs? Google it!
...Create a Google Form? Google it! Ask someone who does AND PAY ATTENTION!
...Creating a table in Word? Search in the Help section! Google it! Also, please switch over to Google docs. No, seriously.
...Embed a logo in your email signature? 
Google it! Poke around in settings! Ask someone who does AND PAY ATTENTION!

See where I'm going with this? As lead learners, not only do we need to model continuing our learning, but also using our resources! Be the model for your teachers, staff and students and learn your way around technology. 

It's not about being "techy." 

It's about being self-sufficient AND relevant for our kids!

*New learning: through a Google search after this YouTube video, I learned you can't actually upload a new font into Google. I did, however, find a work around where I could create text using a website, then copy and paste into a Google doc. I'm happy to share more specifics, but you have to promise to PAY ATTENTION and add this to your new learning. :)

Hoarders: Let the books be free!

Ahhh...summer...that time to relax, put your feet up and enjoy lazy days by the pool, reading books, and watching Hoarders. Wait. What? Hoarders is not part of your summer plans?

Ok. Maybe not on my official plans, but I did find myself binge watching Hoarders while on the couch this week. Why? Fascination with the human condition? Interest in just what people will hold on to (bags of used cat litter stacked from floor to ceiling!? Yipes! It's true!)? I do not know. Either way, I find every episode fascinating. 

I work at a school in which some closets could be featured in an episode of Hoarders. "Hoarders: Elementary Edition?" My school was built in 1956 and in opening closets, cabinets and other hidden areas on campus, tells the story of hand-me-downs galore. It's not that anyone has a compulsive need to hoard, but it's that whole..."How and when DID these old binders get shoved on that shelf? Who uses them? Well, I can't throw them away because they aren't mine or...what if I throw them out and then need them again the very next day? You never know when you'll need those 1000 faded Christmas-colored pony beads in the old Folgers can." Seriously. 

And this is not special to my school. I can't tell you the number of times I've moved into a new classroom (well, actually, the number is 7) and had to dig through someone's remaining treasures that have been collected and treasured for years. Educators. We do these things.

As I wrapped up my couch jam session with Hoarders, I headed to my site to help dig out some closets to make space for new teachers joining our school this year. Items I found:
1. Box of "Jungle Birds:" pipe cleaners twisted in various shapes with googley-eyes and feathers glued randomly about.
2. Staples inside of a box marked 1961. I'm not kidding.
3. Walkmans! Yes! Walkmans galore!

But the most offensive of all...
BOOKS WITH YELLOW PAGES!!

CRINGE!

After I took a moment to pull down the books, dust them off, sneeze, and blow my nose, the reader in me metaphorically cried a solitary tear that dripped on the cover of one said book, exposing the title, Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.

Why? Why was this yellowed, dusty book stored for so long? Even if it made its way into the hands of one of my 4th grade reluctant readers' hands, would it excite them? Would they shout, "OMG, girlfriend! This book is like, totally awesome! We should totes read it."? No. And most certainly not with those words. Would this yellowed-page relic build a love of reading for our kids? Maybe no. And it's not Claudia or Jamie Kincaid's fault. Those kids are rockstars. 

I think Donalyn Miller is on to something. If you haven't read either The Book Whisperer or Reading in the Wild, stop reading this and go pick up a copy. Read the whole thing. Twice. I'll wait...

Miller states:
"Abundant reading research proves that the following components of an independent reading program increase students' reading achievement and motivation to read:

• Access to books: Students need access to a wide array of reading material at their independent level.
• Reading engagement: Students needs classroom conditions that engage them with reading and foster reading self-efficacy.
• School-wide support: Schools must create a culture of reading that values reading in all subject areas.
• Well-stocked libraries with qualified librarians: School library collections should contain current, well-maintained collections of interesting reading material manned by trained, licensed librarians.
• Student choice: Students need frequent opportunities to select their own reading materials for both personal and academic reasons."

https://bookwhisperer.com/posts-presentations-projects/

Did 'ja catch that? Forget the school library collection part and replace it with books surrounding kids all over campus...classroom libraries, school library, office waiting area, after school programs...all the places!!

Give the kids what they want (or if they don't know what they want, expose them to what you think they may eventually want. Psst...it's not yellow books.)

Think of yourself as a reader. If someone handed you a yellow-paged, dusty, faded chapter book published in 1967, how excited would you be to read it?  Our kids are small adults, having tastes and preferences of their own (music, sports, art, food, books, etc.) Expose them to aesthetically pleasing books (the sight of crisp white pages, the smell of glue and cut paper freshly bound together, the feeling of sharp edges of pages)! Kids may not jump at them right away, but it sure is better than treasures found in secret closets. 

Consider dumping all old book and replacing them with new, fresh pages. They don't even have to be new titles, but at least updated covers to old classics.

   

      

                                                 Hard pass.                          Yes, please!

Lessons from Cancun Bus Rides

Recently, I enjoyed some time away with a friend (read: no kids, husband, work, etc.) in Cancun, reading, sleeping, golfing and enjoying being lazy on the beach for hours on end.

When I wasn't burning near-zero calories, my friend and I would catch a bus to grab some dinner or explore the city a bit. If you have ever been on either bus R1 or R2 in Cancun, you, most likely, can conjure up memories of your life flashing before your eyes fairly quickly. Your heart may even stop as you flash back to trying to hold on for dear life as the bus slows from 70 km to 0 km in 5 seconds flat to pick up a random passenger.

If you have NOT had the chance to enjoy life on bus R1 or R2, I am happy to relive the experience (while keeping you safe) through analyzing how riding a Cancun presents lessons to reflect upon through the lens of an elementary principal.

Lesson #1:
Drivers will allow as many people as possible on the bus, filling it with passengers holding on to poles, standing on the front stairs and on others' laps while the bus is in motion.
This is an absolute test in patience. Having an ice cold margarita spilled on you from a man standing beside you while holding on to a pole and complaining about immigrants in his home country is the ultimate test in patience. Much like being a principal, there will be situation after situation that will test patience. The goal is too keep your cool. Like on this bus ride, I think to myself..."Ok, how much can I stand before I scream at this guy and knock the cup out of his hand?" Breathe in, breathe out. On the bus. While at school.

Armpits fo' days.

Lesson #2:
Bus drivers can stop (and will stop) as often as passengers wave it down. No need for bus stops in Cancun. Nope. Just an arm wave from the sidewalk will do. This can turn a 2 mile drive into a 45 minute adventure.
But we're all headed in the same direction, right? As a school staff, we have an end goal in mind: creating an awesome place for students to engage in learning and build the skills needed to be successful in life, no matter the path they choose. But there are many stops along the way, right? Mandates from the state and district, new passengers that we need to catch up to speed, new students entering our school, etc. If we can keep our eye on the end game, the bus ride can be more enjoyable as we head to our common destination.

Lesson #3:
Playing loud reggaeton is preferred on the majority of buses.
And why not? It sounds like a party. Music makes everything better. Play more music!

When in Cancun...

Lesson #4:
Buses are full of interesting people from different cultures, backgrounds, interests, etc. In one given bus ride, the following people shared my bus riding experience with me: tired workers just coming off their shifts at hotels, drunk friends on their way to Senor Frogs, a couple who appeared to be on one of their first dates, an American family of 5, consisting of 3 pre-teens who did not appreciate their parents' sense of humor. 
See Lesson 2.

#present

While paying for whatever I bought at Target last week, (no, really, I have no idea when it comes to Target. I walk in there for lotion, black out and get in my car to look over my $100 receipt with 2 full bags in the back), the young, millennial-ish cashier asked me what my New Year's resolution was. Pshh. Resolutions. Ain't nobody got time for that.

I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to lead a balanced lifestyle.  Just like every other American getting up at 6am to go work out for the next few weeks, determined that this year, THIS year will be better. Forgive my jaded outlook, but I have come to realize that resolutions such as these are short lived as they lack focus, measurements along the way, and milestones to meet a vague goal. 

I smiled at the cashier and laughed off her question, "Oh, geez. I don't know. How about you?" Shockingly, she said she wanted to work out more. I asked her a few questions about the gym she just joined, loaded up my cart with...uh...I have no idea...and then continued thinking a bit more about her question for some reason. 

Since then, I've been thinking that resolutions ARE well-intentioned. We all want to be better at something and become the best version of ourselves, right? But why start on January 1st? Why not May 22nd? Or December 9th?

I DO want to be better. I want to be the best version of wife, mom, principal, friend, colleague, neighbor, Target shopper that I can be. So, what would be the "thing" that help? Thinking, thinking, thinking...

Over the past 6 months, I have been told that I am on my phone all the time by the following people: husband, sons, friends and...wait for it...my supervisor!  Yeeks! This might be an issue.

So, I spent my winter break (prior to my conversation with the Target cashier) intentionally putting my phone away. I left it at home when I went out to the store. I left it in the kitchen and went about my business in the house. I even lost it a few times since I forgot where I had left it. 

And I enjoyed it. Less texting, pictures, Instagramming, Voxing, emailing, Facebook stalking (come on, you know you do it, too) and Tetris-ing (Yes. This has become a problem). More reading - books made out of PAPER, uninterrupted time with my boys at the Children's Museum, going to see movies, putting together 1000 piece puzzles (ok, 994 pieces since I live with 2 boys, a cat and an eat-anything-I-see dog), and coloring. So much coloring. I was able to be in the moment, away from the dings and lights on my phone pulling me in to Vox, text, or collect my prize in Tetris. (I know. :/)

So this is it. My one word New Year's resolution. Nay. Not resolution as much as New Year's something-to-be-mindful of. Yes, that's what is should be called from now on. So here it is...

#present

Be in the present. Put away my digital distractions and just be. Be in conversations with people, really listening, be at home with my boys and pay attention to what they are doing (and not doing). Be with my husband and really listen.  I know this will mean my phone will blow up and I will end up spending a chunk of time going through everything at some point, but my hope is that the conversations and time spent with others will fulfill me and enhance my life more than any ringtones and flashing lights can.

What is your one word New Year's Something-to-be-mindful-of? (See what I did there?)